Love and relationship. A favourite topic among us young ppl. Youth is a time where we become suddenly interested in the opposite sex. Girls that u hate during
ur primary school days suddenly become a subject of interest to us guys n vice versa. Almost everyone wants to fall in love and indulge themselves in romance. The 3 words “ I love you” has became a cliché for us. Babbling about it at every opportunity that we could find. The world is a paradise when we r in love. That sweet and wonderful feeling…
Or is it? Frankly, many relationships around me ended in a sour note. A relationship starts, grows, peaks, and then fall within a matter of months or even weeks, just like a Stress – Strain Diagram in solid materials.
This diagram is useful for engineers to determine the properties of a material such as rigidity and toughness. The material would be made into a form of a cylinder and being pulled by a machine with a constant force through a period of time. The diagram can then be obtained after the material becomes fractured at breaking point.
Many relationship around me, my previous one included, has roughly the form and shape of this graph. (My personal opinion la) All relationships start from zero but progress rapidly and constantly. We are excited about our new partner. We want to spend lots of time with that particular person and enjoy every moment being with him or her. The season of romance begins. This is the first area of the graph where the line has a positive gradient. It’s called the elasticity area of a material. If the material is pulled by a force in this region and the force is then removed, no permanent deformation can be found on the material. It behaves elastically. In a fresh relationship, when the 2 parties have yet to put in 2 much effort, the effect of breaking up is minimal. They can just be frens like b4 easily.
However, after this elasticity area comes the plastic area. This is where a permanent deformation can occur after the force has been removed. As time goes on, the 2 parties will get even more devoted to each other. They wont want to be separated. They dun wan to lose that superb feeling of having each other’s company. They have become dependant on the other party. Something to take note of is also the gradient of the graph now. It’s now lower compared to the gradient earlier. The couple has come to a point where they know a lot of things of their respective partners. We humans have a common characteristic. We cant have too much or too little of something. We might be impressed on how good-looking is our partner on the 1st date. However, after seeing his/her face 4 a long time, we dun feel much of it anymore.
The relationship will then come to a peak. After that comes the fall and then the end of it – break up, or fracture in the material. A fractured material is feared most by engineers. It means the failure of a construction, a threat to safety and of cos, the lost of money. In a relationship it means hurt, scars and tears. No one intends to break up when they want to start a relationship, but y does so many relationships ended in such a way? Isn’t it sad just to see 2 ppl who r so madly in love with each other a few months ago but now never speak to each other since break up? Isn’t it sad to see 2 ppl who wanted to see each other so much even after a 5 minute separation during their courtship season but now feels disgusted by the same face even they have not seen each other for 5 years?
What defines a strong and stable relationship? What aspects do we consider before starting a relationship? Im not sure if ppl do think about such questions. Many thrilled at the opportunity to get themselves involve in a relationship. Many have such a thought: If I miss this chance, I might not have one again in future. This leads us to one word: Impatience.
Patience is important not only in waiting for a right time to start a relationship, but also in allowing it to unfold at a healthy pace. Impatience rushes everything. It urges us to skip the time and attention a healthy friendship requires and to jump right into emotional intimacy. “Love at first sight” makes ppl tend to skip the most imp part—friendship. Being friends is the best way to get to know a person more. By doing so enables us to decide for ourselves better whether this person is my Mr or Mrs Right or not.
The problems we see in relationships today – the impatience, the lack of purpose, and the misguided emotions are all expressions of foolishness. We need wisdom. Wisdom complements romance. Like the string attached to a kite, wisdom enables romance to really soar. It anchors it, disciplines it and brings it to its highest potential. When the emotional wind gets dangerously strong, wisdom pulls the kite down so that it won’t be destroyed.
Basically, there r 3 points that we shud take note of b4 deciding that we r ready 4 love.
Are you able to be patient?
Can you set a clear course for the relationship?
Are your emotions based on reality?
4 me, I guess it’s still 2 early. Still dun tink that im capable enuf to attract any gals oso… haha… I will be waiting patiently 4 my future “ Mrs Right”. In the mean time, I promise that I will try my very best to improve myself as a person for God and for her. Hope she will wait patiently 4 me as well… bcos I wan my graph to look like this:
Love is beautiful~
